Hung In A Bad Place - Losing Psyche

The plan was to go climbing this morning, but everyone in the situation agreed that none of us had the psyche to go out into the fresh snow and go climbing. Sometimes its better to forget about it before you've even left the car. I've not felt psyche for winter climbing for a few weeks now, but that's not because I don't want to go climbing in winter anymore.

January has been an interesting month, for more than one reason. For anyone who knows me, they'll know I haven't been myself lately. I've been stuck in a rut, or hung in a bad place, whatever people want to call it. Some folk will know why, others won't.

Everything started out well, especially for a January, but then after a week or two things went downhill. 

I managed to get a run of good routes in and some of them in the most amazing winter weather I've experienced since moving to the Highlands two and a half years ago. Some of them were nothing but spindrift and windblown hellish nightmares. During this good period, I managed to set off an avalanche and even though I walked away unharmed, the whole thing stopped me and made me think quite hard about why I do the things I do. I struggled to justify the reasons to myself, but sometimes you need to make decisions in life you think are right and just to get on with it.

I still don't have an answer for why I do these things. I have lots of reasons but can't put it down to one single thing. All I know is that I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. 

Being and living in the Highlands has had some very serious lows, but also times where I thought I'd never experience sadness again, such was the highs. Those days where you and your mates are up the hill and the sun is shining and the climbing is amazing, or even the days when you are on your own, they make all the low points worth it. 

I'm by no means out of the woods yet but, I just want to say thanks to everyone who has helped me out this month and got me through, it would be hard without that help. 

Here's some photos I managed to get this month!

The debris of the avalanche I managed to get myself caught in and from the angle I got caught up in it.

Myself on the top pitch of Anvil Gully (thanks to Katie for the photo)

Katie heading towards the Ben with incredible light conditions

Looking towards the Ben from the first belay on Twinkle

Walking in to the West Face of Aonach Beag